they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
