I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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