is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
