I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
