Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
