HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
