suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
