Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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