Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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