i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
