Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
