their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
