Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
