That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
