she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
