and she was petting her beer can
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
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