Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
