pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
