haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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