He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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