You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
