I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
