And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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