Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
