Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
