now i know why i became what i already was.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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