i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
