but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
