my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
