oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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