6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
