So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
