I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
