Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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