I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
