I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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