Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
