boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
