She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
