When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
