Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
