i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
