he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
