apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
