Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
