I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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