You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
