Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i think i just lost a toe
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
