I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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