It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
